"The Sun's Barely Over the Horizon Yet..."

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*I can't stay here. Ashnel sits, fully clothed, at the foot of his bed, staring into the blank wall. The curtainless windows show the dark dawn. Without thinking, he begins to reminisce (sp?). Ayeny, arriving at Terralux. He'd glanced once at her, and dismissed her from his thoughts; another newcomer. Later, she'd been with him and Terragon in one of the Guild Houses, and again on a quest. Terragon... Walking away through the woodlands, casting a careless look back over her shoulder at him. Walking away from the Fort gates. Not looking back. If it wasn't for just that one moment.*
*Ashnel remembered all of it in a vivid closeness. Too close. The skies were bright, filthy whites and dark blues.*

*No. There was a form of meditation where one stared at a blank wall; the skill and concentration in remaining exactly still, unthinking. You're failing. You're slipping. Whether this is true or not, it's hard to say. So many of the days since the summer had been like this. He forgot the details of them all.*
*It had been too long since he'd last travelled. Everybeast in Terralux seemed, somehow, the same. Did any of them think this deeply? It felt like an insult to them to assume they didn't. Ashnel had seen a glimmer of this troubled thinking in Lonas, when the other had been sober.*

*A tune he doesn't recognise resounds through his mind. Guiding Stars. Help me, he prays restlessly and silently. For the sake of everything, help. And... Ashnel pauses and blinks slowly. And, if I am beyond your help... and, Jupiter, I hope more than anything I'm not... The wall is white-washed and as bright white as the skies he remembers. If I am beyond your help, then - for the Stars sake - help Terri. Keep her safe. Because... because I don't know if I can stay here. And Ashnel had thought times were looking up! Jupiter; may it be.*
*Stoakly had returned, the winter celebrations had begun. There'd been smiles, happiness. Ashnel had joined them. And yet...*

*He gives up on this useless meditation and standing, turns and crosses the room to the window. The forest is still, the sun's barely over the horizon yet... Hell's Teeth, don't forget me, 'Yeny. Terri. Danniar... the sun's barely over the horizon.*
*It doesn't take the Terraluxian Captain long to pack. Two cloaks, one black, one pale brown. The latter he shruggs around his shoulders, though the room feels too warm, despite the open window and frozen dawn outside. Tunics. Pale blue, dark blue, black, white. He leaves the one with the flaming sun motif on at the bottom of the wooden chest with everything else he's leaving behind. Trousers; dark blue, woodish brown and black. A dark blue jacket.*
*Ashnel puts some of the contents of his travelling bag back in the wooden chest with a shrugg. He nearly leaves behind the battle blade he's carried for the last four years... but can't quite. I thought I wasn't going to look back?*

*He opens the door of his room, and, bag in paw, slips out of it, closing it behind him for perhaps the last time. The last time. Ashnel glances around the main room. Danniar is deep in sleep on a window seat, her back to him. The squirrel nods slowly. This was always how it was going to be. Slip away at dawn: no farewells, no last, parting words. And yet, he finds it hard to resist. He wants suddenly to wake Danniar, tell her what he intends to do, listen to her protests and finally, resignedly, agree to stay. Forever.*
*No. Walk on. Alone. He makes his way quickly to the front door of Starsett Hollow, taking no food with him. He pulls the door shut behind him, feeling reassured by the gentle click of the latch behind him as it falls back into place. For a long moment, the squirrel gazes out over the clearing before him. High up, nearly level with the tallest of the trees, Ashnel stares over Terralux, over Mossflower. Salamandastron seems close. Too close. He cannot go there. He can't be near Terralux. I have to get away from Mossflower.*
*The wind catches at his fur as Ashnel nods again, sighing softly as he approaches the rope ladder that will lead him down to the forest floor, away from Starsett Hollow and further from the creatures who will care most when they awaken to find him gone. It's better this way. He can be alone again this way. No questions asked, no familiar voice murmuring concern... It's better this way. I don't need sympathy. I just need to think and get away from here.*

*And so, reaching the foot of the ladder, Ashnel walks. He passes the Village Square, the fountain and the Tavern. He never did confront Tuscaro. It can wait another day, the Terraluxian Captain decides, nearly forgetting where he's going, or not going, as it were. It can wait forever. I don't think I'm coming back.*
*The path is empty, devoid of creatures. If he'd been staying in Terralux, what would this day have been like? His shadow darts, long and low, before him as he heads West, for the mountains, perhaps. The sun's barely over the horizon yet. Already the dawn is beautiful. Maybe Ashnel would have noticed this another time, but all he thinks of now is getting as far away from this place as he can. One footpaw over another, walking alone and away. Terralux sleeps on. He has, perhaps, an hour or less before Terragon wakes. The squirrel doesn't know if she'll try and follow him. She wouldn't know where to look if she did. The sun's barely over the horizon yet. Terragon will see the dawn in the way he does not. Maybe she'll go to his room to wake him, call him to come and see the sky. If he'd been there, maybe he'd have shared the moment with her. But not in the way we could have. But for just that one moment. The thought is but a dream and Ashnel continues onwards...*

*... and Danniar watches from Starsett Hollow. She had heard the latch click back into place and it had taken several moments for her to rise from the depths of drowsiness. Standing, she'd gone to the window to gaze at the pale sun; barely over the horizon. Then Danniar had seen him, walking alone down the road from Terralux, between great walls and collumns of trees. She and him seemed to be the only creatures in Terralux awake and, as the others slept, Danniar watched the squirrel go, brown cloak flapping noiselessly behind him, shoed footpaws treading the dry, frozen ground. She tried to tell herself everything was alright, but another part of her mind broke the news in a way that made her give a long blink, a silent sigh and bite her lip to stop the tears. She'd tried not to cry since dibbunhood. Finally, Danniar fails, and, wordlessly, quietly, the tears fall, splashing calmly onto the windowsill as Ashnel Alashia of Terralux is lost to the woodlands. The sun's barely over the horizon. And Ashnel is gone.*

[Tinsy Stormsight]

He wasn't sure why he still did this. Every morning, just before dawn. Perhaps it was a habit from his old soldiering days. Maybe he just liked the scenery and early still. Most beasts wouldn't still be doing this. Nonetheless, Regen was out there every morning in full battle gear. It was a practiced routine he went through, something to stick to in his newly hectic life.
First, he'd run, lance strapped over his back, helm on his head. He carried his shield most days, except for the time his arm had been broken, and before his wrist. Some days he couldn't carry the shield at all, usually before rain...the limb ached badly from past injuries then. So he ran without the shield on arm, and carried it over his back.
Then climbing, which he didn't love. When he got retired to the border guards, it had been imporant to climb, so Regen had taught himself to do it - even in full gear. Now he still did it, even if he didn't like to.
Arms practice. A start with the shortsword, running through his basic sequences. After that, he usually moved on to the spear and shield, and perhaps broadsword if he were in the mood..and had one on him.
The squirrel was running now, boots tramping the path heavily. He'd been out for an hour or so now, and the sun was starting to rise. Normally, he wouldn't go this far, but it was cold out..and Regen wanted to run.
He passed Starsett Hollow, still in the dawn light, and headed for the Arch, mind wandering as usual. Today, he was considering how oddly busy he was. It was a strange thing..Regen had lived at Copperlin for eight years, and the only thing that had changed was his rank. After a year at Terralux, he was a different man. One might wonder what had happened...it had been several things.
Well, he might as well count them. Regen glanced to one side as he went past the Apothecary. Rippla was on the porch already, smoking his pipe and watching the sun rise. Not unusual, the weasel always woke early.

Regen supposed the change had started when he first came to Terralux. No, not the battle, the winter party, a year ago. Meeting 'normal' villagers turned something in him sour..the squirrel hadn't had any more desire for soldiering. He'd gone from a bored, restless melee-turned-border-guard into some guy that actually wanted his own place. Well, a better place than the ratty little hole he'd lived in back at Copperlin. That was a dive, no doubt about it.
There's one. The lake was quiet this morning. A fish jumped as he ran by, making ripples in the water.
Then came Corin's wedding, and his station in life had risen. No longer Regen Eale, soldier of fortune. He wasn't even just Regen anymore, he'd noticed. Now he was Lord Duke Regen Eale, Ambassador to Mossflower. He had two hundred acres of estate in the Arkains (looked after by his older sister, Lenaire), a title, and a family ring to prove it. It even had the crest carved on the ring (or, an oak leaf proper, a thistle verdant). The green thistle was his own addition, but the oak leaf was the family's blazon...he was one of them now.
Two. And gettin' better by th' minute. A bird chirped in the pines. Regen ignored it.
The arrival of Lonas. Lonas, completely unawares, had brought him down to earth from his fishing daydreams. His eccentric older brother had made him even more of a landowner, and in a meaningful way...also, a brother, both to the Eales and (quite accidentally) Oakrose Royalbrush. Wierd how these things happened.
Three...
Ashnel Alashia. The dark squirrel was probably his best friend (well, if you didn't count Lonas.) Ashnel was one of the reasons he'd stayed - the other squirrel had given him a sense. These weren't just stupid villagers, completely naive - Ashnel probably hadn't trusted him a bit for the first few months Regen had lived at Terralux. Whilst everyone else was fiddling along, totally trusting of a drunkard warrior squirrel, the son of an unknown lord in the south, once in the service of the biggest vermin warlord in Mossflower, somebeast wasn't intending to give him equal opportunities with everyone else.
Four. Not bad.

The golden squirrel slowed as he reached the Arch (second time today, he'd decided to do two curcuits of the village instead of one). Huh, speaking of Ashnel..there was the man himself, strolling toward the woods. Regen sped up again, opening his mouth to call, then slowed to a halt. He recognized the look on Ashnel's face - the same one his unlovable older brother, Jon, got - had gotten - on his face. A-questin'. Actually, more like a-runnin' away. Traveling...company not wanted. Regen had done the same thing once. That had been running away from home, coming north, but whatever.
The golden squirrel contemplated going after the other squirrel, maybe to persuade him to go back. After a moment, he drew his sword and shrugged. Nah, let the man go..he'd be back eventually. Terragon would want to know what way Ashnel had gone in, to fetch him back and tie him to the Tavern if need be...but Regen hadn't seen a thing.
He smiled vaguely, gave a sort of salute with his sword...nothing fancy, Regen had never been much for saluting...and began his sword exercises, the sound of drawn metal still ringing in the air.
...watch out fer Blackstar on y' way, mate. An, 'though ye've never been a religious beast, God be with ye.

[Tinsy Stormsight]

OOC: Holy crap. Not sure where all that came from...

[Terragon Scrufftail]

OOC: Heh. Same. Found a really good remix of the song "Wonderwall" by Oasis and was, like, "OMG! Ashnel has got to get away from Terralux. He's not allowed to live in peace!
Well, obviously he'll be back in two weeks, like Regen guessed, but... Meh.

[Tinsy Stormsight]

OOC: Ah. I was listening to The Eagles, I think.
Regen's a smart guy.

[Terragon Scrufftail]

OOC: lol. D'you want to continue the RP, or leave it at: Ashnel's off to sulk for a while?

[Tinsy Stormsight]

OOC: Eh, continue I guess. I'm in the mood.

[Terragon Scrufftail]

OOC: Right, then. But first... the dog claims no one has walked it today.

[Tinsy Stormsight]

OOC: Yep. I got pets to deal with too, and also watering all my houseplants...

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*Ashnel keeps walking, a slight frown creasing his face. He doesn't look back. He seems to have realised what he has to do. His shadow paces beside him, following him eternally. He feels as though he can hear and feel every beat of his heavy heart. Heavy heart - useless muscle, weighing him down! He saw a heart in a jar once - an otter's - it was a mere mess of an organ. I don't need to think. I don't need to feel. I just need to keep walking.*
*Maybe beyond Mossflower there's somewhere else; another chance. Maybe Ashnel will settle down again. I doubt it. Too many "maybe"s. And it's better this way. Alone. For the final time. Suicide never crosses the squirrel's mind. If it did, he'd dismiss it. If he can do himself no good, then at least - perhaps - he can do some good for others. Not that Terragon ever really forgave me. I told her to leave and not look back. And now look at me... He does not think of it as running away, and yet, watching from the window of Starsett Hollow, Danniar had tried so hard not to see it as Ashnel giving up. She spots Regen, watching the dark-furred squirrel too. Sharing Danniar's grief or another emotion? Resent? Hatred, even? She can only guess as Ashnel makes his way further and further from Terralux.*

*The sun is rising behind him and Ashnel continues onwards, never stopping, still not looking back. Every day since Summer Solstice, he'd woken at dawn and stared out at the forest. It wasn't welcoming, but then again, the place he is now leaving no longer feels quite so friendly anymore.*
*Melamia had left Terralux, but for different reasons. He gazes ahead, at the long road. It twists through the woodland to the West, emerging on a dusty pathway with fields to the right. He almost expects to see Mela', standing in front of him again, making a joke, head thrown back in laughter. But, no. He is leaving all that behind. Was it this hard for his sister to walk away from Terralux? From him? We grew up together. We saw each other every day of our lives... It seems the time he spent with first Terragon, then Ayeny was so short. Things change. I just wish they didn't.*

*The fields become less and less neat and maintained and the weak winter sun is now nearly fully risen. His own head seems to heavy to carry. He is tired, but still, unceasingly, Ashnel walks. He has seen nobeast on the pathways so far. Though he has been travelling since the early morning, the road is empty for all except the squirrel and his frown and hard, dark gaze.*
*Maybe the word had spread through Terralux by now. Ashnel Alashia's gone. He's not coming back. Torn between physical and mental exhaustion and continuing on, putting as much distance behind him as possible, the former Captain of Terralux looks around him for the first time properly. And another is watching him from the fields. A squirrel, red-furred and smiling. He tries to ignore her, but she draws closer. How could he not have noticed her before?* Morning? *Ashnel shruggs in greeting. He does not need to be thrown into conversation with the stranger. She says something else, but Ashnel is not listening and hurries on his way, striding at the pace most creatures jog at.*

*Terragon woke a little after Danniar. By then, Ashnel was long gone and Danniar had wandered into the settlement, leaving a note explaining her absense on the table. Terragon glances in at Ashnel's room, in hope of somebeast to talk to. The dark squirrel is not there and his cloak, usually hung over the open window, is nowhere to be seen. This is not so unusual in itself, but Terragon almost instantly notices where objects have been moved from there usual places, including a travelling bag. He wouldn't leave without telling me. The last time he did that -*
*Terragon nods slowly, a mirror image of Ashnel as he surveyed Starsett Hollow for the last time. She says nothing, because there is no need. She knows Ashnel Alashia is gone forever. He'd said there was no such thing as forever; that change always comes. The red squirrel cannot realise how much this change pained the other though. Miles from Terralux, Ashnel walks on and an unknown squirrel frowns in puzzlement and curiousity after him.*

*A thick gust of wind catches at Ashnel's cloak and he strides against it, the struggle making him more determined. He has no idea where the path leads, it's been an age since he's gone further than the fringe of Mossflower Woods and longer since he travelled alone. Something new would come. But Ashnel will still think about what he abandoned for this for weeks and months after this. What he abandoned to walk, thoughts trying to be directed on absolutely nothing, trying not to think of what he has done.*

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*Terragon stares moodily out into the gloomy afternoon. The day's gone past too slowly, yet nightfall has come to soon. Without trying, Terragon knows she cannot sleep, though she doesn't want to pace back up and down Starsett Hollow House again. It seems as though a spell has been cast over all the rooms, bringing all the squirrel's thoughts back to Ashnel.*
*She presses her head up against the cool glass of the thin windows and attempts to ignore the warm glow of the various lanterns lighting her room in a disgustingly cheerful fashion. When she can no longer pretend the lanterns irritate her, Terragon rises slowly from where she leans, dark patches, rimmed by reds, greens and yellows springing in front of her eyes for several seconds. She pauses, swaying dizzily until it passes, then slowly estinguishes the candles in the lanterns, one by one, plunging herself into shadow.*

*You got through today... you can keep going. But for how long? She asks herself doubtfully, wearily. How long before word gets around Terralux that Ashnel is gone and that I can't... that I'm not quite the "brilliant leaderess" that... well, I don't even know if they've ever thought of me as that. I never have. Long, winding road ahead, if I keep going...*
*Light floods unbearably from under the door. Danniar. The other must have lit candles in the main room of Starsett Hollow. The thought of calling out to Danniar for help near repulses Terragon. She's forgotten how to ask for help, she decides. Ashnel... Terragon had never had to ask Ashnel for help. Despite everything, he'd known. Maybe... but there's nobeast left to save you now. On your own, Terri. No wall, no safety line. Just... everything.*

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*The late afternoon breeze catches at Ashnel's fur. The sky is a brilliant blue, the day cold and sunny. Looking from the hilltops across the Western Plains, it surprises him how little he has ever thought of the sky. Poets and bards might sing of it, but Ashnel has never shown any interest in such things. Maybe he regrets this; Terragon once assured him there was more in reading then in ancient manuscripts and history. Terragon... It seems odd to think of her, so far from Terralux. And Danniar. Though Ashnel doesn't think of her in the same way. Danniar is more like the sister that Robin and Melamia were. She'd said something too, that the squirrel now remembers. "Mos', they only no'ice the sky when i''s rainin' or se''in'. No, the sky's no' mos' beau'if'l when i''s dyin'. I''s when the sun's righ' up there on the horiz'n an' when the day seems li'e it'll nev'r end. Isn'' i'?" And Ashnel hadn't replied. But he'd nodded. Slowly, barely. But the rat had been right and it's clearer than ever today.*
*Not enough to make me go back. I can keep walking forever. I don't have to settle. I don't need to. Probably Ashnel believes this and perhaps he's right. But for too long there's been so many "perhaps"s and "maybe"s. But I haven't seen everything and there's creatures who die without ever leaving home. He's nearly forgotten about the squirrel who stared at him in the fields the day before, yet she hasn't forgotten about him. Travellers in that part of Mossflower are unusual - especially ones with Ashnel's dark fur - and much talked about it, but she has said little; as she often does. And the squirrelmaid, she works in the fields every day, glancing up at the dust road every minute or so, in hope of something unusual to break the same, familiar pattern in her mind for a moment. She cannot read, can't write, can barely stand to speak with the other creatures nearby. They think she's odd; thinks too deeply, they imagine she has airs and graces and thinks herself above them. Not that they've really spoken to her. Not that she's really spoken to them. And like Ashnel, she finds she cannot speak, can only just bear the same horizon every day. She looks towards the hills in the furthest distance, shielding her eyes against the wintry glow of the sun. To her, the Earth is flat and the sun drifts slowly around it. Her eyesight is only as wide as the endless days have made it. But she will leave soon; not like Ashnel, in the dramatic hours of dawn, but in a matter of minutes...*

*Danniar looks out from the battlements, a moment of vertigo washing over her as the wall of greeness seems to rush up to greet her. Trees ahead, Salamandastron behind. And, as the fear passes as quickly as it came, she smiles. Because she cannot remember a time when she was happier. Ashnel would be happy to know. And she wishes he did know.*

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*Many days later, a squirrel with rough, dark fur and shining eyes lies beneath the stars of the Western Plains. He looks up at the night and smiles to himself. His forepaws behind his head, Ashnel Alashia gives a silent laugh. The night is cold and the fur on his arms bristles. The ground beneath him is pleasantly cool and damp and he lies awake, thoughts drifting and speeding through his mind.*
*How long does he have left? Ashnel can't travel every day and lie awake thinking every night for ever. But, then again, he can't settle down. Maybe Melamia and Elm are out there somewhere, the dark squirrel muses for the hundredth time. And beyond Mossflower and the Northlands, there's other countries and continents. Ashnel'd heard of lands where the sun shines all day and dusk and dawn last mere moments - look away, and you've missed it. And deeper in Mossflower, there were tall, horned animals, that ran on four legs. Deer. Arven and Torilian always swore they'd seen one once at dawn. Torilian. Ashnel gives a loud smirk, a corner of his mouth twitching in faint amusement. Even Torilian seemed distant and long ago now, thank the Stars...*
*... and the Guiding Stars. All that noise and all the sound - the wind, the rain. How could they not be there? How? Ashnel struggles with the question, tossing and turning in semi-awakeness. A deep frown furrowed it's way across his face. How? Finally, he sits up, wrenching the question from himself and hurling it aside in frustration. Standing, Ashnel looks around. The coldness plays a strange sensation in his ears. He sighs, grinning again with a slight shake of his head. No sleep tonight again. "No rest for the wicked," he quotes, mocking himself for doing so. Ashnel takes his near-empty travelling bag in one paw and slings it over his back, looping it onto his shoulders a moment later.*
*And within minutes, Ashnel is lost to the bright stars, the whispering wind and the swaying plains once more.*

OOC:

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
To show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
If you could see it then you'd understand,
Ah, when you see it then you'll understand?
Coldplay

[Tinsy Stormsight]

The town was crowded that evening, some sort of party going on. It was, as far as the young badger could tell, a celebration about liberty. He wasn't too sure, but then, it didn't matter much.
He was one of those rare badgers who came from the sea..an Irish knight, he was, and rather pleased with it. The badger had a look of the ocean about him, because he was also a merchant when not on quests..he dressed in a plain white shirt and dark breeches with boots, but his leather coat was well-used during winter nights, and he wore a wide-brimmed felt hat. The badger wasn't more than thirty, but he'd had a full life.
Currently, he was standing on the outskirts of the small town, leaning against the stone wall that surrounded it. (Hell, seemed like everybeast could afford one o' them nowadays.) There was a bottle in his left paw - it was rum mixed with lemon juice, which he liked fairly well - and two or three more by his feet.
The badger had been meaning to move on that evening, but he'd gotten a bit sidetracked on his way out. He was ready to go now, though, with his pack full and a few more bottles of rum in them for when he was done this. He hadn't been able to get much food, but was prepared to make do with the bread and apples he'd bought. Evidently, all of Mossflower and Brit'n were preparing for a seige from some southern warlord..a Blackstar, he thought. The badger meant to be gone long before then.

He finished the bottle and tossed it to one side, then gathered the rest up and arranged them in his pack. Next for his weapons..well, weapon. The badger hadn't had much luck with getting them recently. He still had his old sword from home (by now a bit battered - it needed a sharpening and cleaning somethin' bad.) Also, he carried a hatchet, but that was for cutting wood.
The prize in his arsenal was a pistol, which he'd taken from some drunken sea-weasel a few years ago. The weasel had given him quite a chase on account of that weapon, which had ended with a bullet to his head.
Too bad.
The badger was out of bullets now. It only fired one at a time.

He stood, stretched lightly, and slung his bag carefully over his shoulder. It clinked reassuringly as he set out over the moors. The badger was traveling south to Spain, for warm sunny weather and good times. He'd met a squirrel before that said that was what they had up there, anyway. As far as he'd known, all they did was fight wars..but maybe not. Maybe there'd be a ship waiting for the knight when he got there.

An hour later, he saw a beast ahead in the night on the road he'd taken. The other was approaching him, walking west. After a moment, the badger stopped to wait for the other to approach, setting his pack down and removing two bottles of the rum. If nothing, this beast would be interested in a drink..who wasn't?
As the other approached, the badger noted that it was a dark-furred squirrel with a frown on his face, walking fast. He grinned and waved a paw, calling out, "You there! How's the road ahead, then?!"
The badger's deep voice rang out well over the plains, filling the little hills with echoes. He grinned with good humor, listening to the words bounce back in his Irish accent. He held both paws out in front of him to show he was unarmed, keeping the toothy grin on his face.

[Terragon Scrufftail]

*Ashnel's head turns and he looks the stranger - a badger with a travelling bag like his own - up and down before returning a winning smile. The accent he recognises as Irish, and was reminded of Father Paddy. His smile broadens, creasing at the corners and he stops.*

*The squirrel's clothing is not dissimilar to what he wore as he left Terralux; dark blue tunic, black trousers, the brown cloak.
Ashnel sets off towards the badger, calling back to him with a note of laughter,* The road ahead's long. Asides from that, I couldn't say. I'm a traveller here too.
*It's the most words spoken by Ashnel in days. Apart from these, he's mostly laughed, smirked and sigh, exchanging occasionally monosyllables with himself and the few creatures he's come across upon the road. Who travels in winter and in times such as this? But the Irish badger seems friendly enough, regardless of Blackstar's war and as Ashnel draws closer, he takes in a little more of the other's appearance. The felt hat is reassuring, if the fact that the stranger is a badger isn't enough.*
*Ashnel is close enough now not to have to shout and asks,* Where are you headed? This is the Western Plains.