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Post by Tinsy Stormsight on Nov 13, 2006 19:59:23 GMT
OOC: Much better.
Now you should try some punctuation.
There should be a comma and apostrophe in that line, so that it looks like this:
Pulling his javelin out of the rat's middle, he swings around in time to block a stoat's second sword strike.
Don't worry, you'll get better with practice and some English lessons. Just try to remember it. It makes things a little easier to read.
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Post by Denya Shellhound on Nov 13, 2006 20:10:03 GMT
OOC Ok.
BIC: **Droping the javline and shoving the stoat to the ground with his paws Denya pulls a knife out from his belt and drops to the ground and stabs him in his neck.**
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Post by Terragon Scrufftail on Nov 13, 2006 20:59:12 GMT
OOC: Thanks, Tinsy! BIC: *Ashnel spares a moment in which to nod a greeting to Terragon before both are caught up in the battle again. Perhaps a third of the vermin remain - and without their leader - all save a brave few are beginning to lose their nerve.* Russssssset! *Ashnel hears Birchy before he sees him. The squirrel, pale fur a little in places with blood, makes his way towards the others. It's the first time the darker squirrel has seen Birchy fight, and he's impressed. Forgetting himself for a moment, Ashnel lets his guard down and a short rat takes his chance and moves forwards to attack.* Ashnel! *Birchy and Terragon call out a warning at once, and the third squirrel wheels around - not soon enough - the rat slices across the warrior's back, blood oozing out from beneath Ash's tunic onto the blade.*
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Post by Ayeny Alashia on Nov 14, 2006 5:36:55 GMT
OOC: Okay, now that's too much punctuation... Use an apostrophe only when an item belongs to someone else, like "Denya's sword." If it's a verb (action) or plural noun (more than one object) then no apostrophe is necessary. Also, you've added an unnecessary part to your sentence. It's a good part, but since it's not actually part of the sentence, you put commas or parentheses around it: **Denya, holding his knife backhand, stabs and swings his blade in all directions.** But it's great that you're trying. (Sorry if I'm infringing upon you, Tinsy I'm nosy and grammar-obsessed.) BIC: *Ayeny, (who does not like the look of blood on pale fur,) also turns in Birchy's direction, but the smaller squirrel is completely forgotten as Ashnel- can't you take care of yourself for a minute?!?- is injured. Angry and trying to ignore the tinges of panic at the edges of her mind, Ayeny turns her bow that direction, and she looses three arrows all at the rat, perhaps a bit unnecessarily.*
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Post by Terragon Scrufftail on Nov 14, 2006 19:05:16 GMT
*Ashnel, teeth gritted against the searing pain in his back, growls in alarm as a couple of arrows hit the rat, slaying him in an instance. For a second, he recognises Ayeny as the owner of the shafts.* Thanks! *The black-furred squirrel mouths and turns, and, leaning forwards slightly, hurries off towards the remaining foebeasts. By now, Terragon has lost sight of both Geordie and Ashnel, but with her breathing returning to normal, she is not unduly concerned. Well... as unconcerned as a beast can be in battle, the squirrel mutters as she dispatches a stoat after a long, nasty struggle.*
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Post by Ayeny Alashia on Nov 14, 2006 19:16:19 GMT
*Ayeny releases her energy by continuing to try to shoot as many of the foebeasts as possible, but after a few shots, realises it will only be a matter of time before she hits someone on their side in such close quarters, and draws her sword, keeping her bow handy- just in case.*
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Post by Tinsy Stormsight on Nov 14, 2006 22:15:14 GMT
OOC: Welcome.
BIC: *Tinsy continues fighting, not having noticed Ashnel's injury. Regen, however, glances over to make sure the squirrel is mostly unhurt before continuing. He seems to be having slight difficulty keeping his troops in hand.*
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Post by Geordie Brushtail on Nov 15, 2006 5:27:37 GMT
OOC: Actually, both of you are infringing on my authority, since I'm roleplay captain....lol, just joking. Geordie's been busy lately, so I assure you I don't mind a little help.
*By this time Geordie's back is to a tree in an attempt to give the vermin less openings. Not quite sure how he got separated from the others, he nevertheless catches enough glimpses through the trees to assure himself that they're all right. He swings his big battle blade in a figure of eight, slicing through two incoming rats, and he moves away from the shielding trunk of the tree to take out a runner. A stoat rams a blade through the back of his leg and Geordie goes down on his knees, but not after pinning the stoat to a nearby oak tree with his claymore. Geordie sends the tiny sghian dhu through the trees after the runner, and drags himself to a more defensible position with only his dirk for company.*
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Post by Terragon Scrufftail on Nov 15, 2006 20:59:38 GMT
*The vermin seem to have been defeated, and free from enemy distractions, Terragon looks up, relieved. And then her face falls, for across the water, reflected in the lake's surface, bright streaks of fire can be seen, reaching up to the heights of the sky - filling it with smoke and a the sickly throat of burning which sticks in the squirrel's throat like her words. Because the fire is racing over a boat, engulfing it, hiding it from view, snatching it up.* No... *Terragon whispers, stumbling to find her sister.* Robin! Robin, Seastar... his boat! Help. *Ashnel becomes aware of the fire as the wind turns, bringing the smoke crashing down in waves upon the survivors. The remainer vermin, four in number, flee. The dark squirrel lets them go as he hears Terragon cry out. She sees him coming out of the dark cloud and neither know what to say. So they do not say anything. Words cannot say what needs to be said. So Ashnel holds onto the red squirrel, as by now, nothing at all can be done...*
OOC: I believe this is Seastar's... leaving present.
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Post by Tinsy Stormsight on Nov 15, 2006 21:14:57 GMT
OOC: Um......'kay.
BIC: *Tinsy also stares out at the boat, mouthing something untintelligable. Regen's troops, meanwhile, collect their one dead. * *The golden-brown squirrel captain counts his troops quietly, leaving the villagers to do their own thing. He counts up to seven, then frowns slightly. The stoat approaches, and they begin a whispered discussion.*
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Post by Geordie Brushtail on Nov 16, 2006 18:26:27 GMT
*Geordie rests his back against the tree as the remaining vermin flee, rubbing his wounded leg as he watches the blaze. E'en if Ah didnae hae a hole in me leg, Ah wouldnae be able te help that foire...Ah hope Terr's takin' it okay. Seems loike it's somebeast she kenns...*
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Post by Terragon Scrufftail on Nov 18, 2006 11:57:35 GMT
*The wind picks up, fanning the flames. Only then does Terragon act.* Quickly, do something! Before it spreads to the other boats! Do what?! *Ashnel asks.* The boat's surrounded by water! *The red squirrel wrings her paws in agitation.* I dunno. *She snaps.* Scruffear would know what t' do, if he were- *Terragon shakes her head as though to dislodge the thought.* I dunno. *She concludes again.*
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Post by Ayeny Alashia on Nov 18, 2006 13:11:15 GMT
*Ayeny looks at the flames for a moment longer, then focuses her attention on Terragon. I'm not sure what to feel 'bout that boat... or rather, maybe I should be more upset than I am. At least I can deal with something I know how to handle, she thinks, and closes the distance between her and Ashnel and Terragon, not really planning to say anything but rather seeing how Terragon is doing.*
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Post by Geordie Brushtail on Nov 18, 2006 18:08:17 GMT
*Geordie calls over the crowd.* Get somebeast that can swim an' tow tha boats oot o' danger. An' no sense volunteerin' me, Ah cannae swim a'tall!
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Post by Ayeny Alashia on Nov 18, 2006 18:25:01 GMT
*Geordie's call sparks a thought in Ayeny's mind.* Survivors, *she says suddenly, voice a little questioning.* We should go... look... *she suddenly bites her tongue, wondering what they may find there if they do go... well, you've said it already... I don't think you'll manage to get Terragon to stay behind...*
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